


Maybe.....

by Starlightdawn



Category: Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Cameo Nick Groff, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-03 13:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 16,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8716120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlightdawn/pseuds/Starlightdawn
Summary: An old fashioned Romance.....with a twist.....





	1. And so it begins

I’d been sitting, waiting patiently, for what seemed like hours, my second cup of coffee cold and untouched on the classy smoked glass table. The constant stream of people passing through the large atrium provided ample opportunity for people watching. I made up my mind that if he hadn’t shown up in the next five minutes I was out of there. 

I felt the rise in my anxiety levels, I really didn’t want to start again with a different studio, convincing them that this documentary would make money, as indeed had my last production. I knew I was successful, I had proved it, but that still didn’t mean that my work was automatically guaranteed air time. I smoothed the hem of my skirt; it never did any harm to appear attractive; the dark blue designer suit I was wearing was especially chosen to make a bold statement.

Then two things happened at once.

From one side of the large atrium I saw my producer, heading my way. From the other, a small group of men approached, bunched together, talking loudly and laughing. By the black clothes and hoodies they wore, I presumed they were a rock band. The two tallest, heading the pack, one bald, one with black spiked hair, seemed to be having a childish game of shouldering into each other, inappropriate in the press of tables and people congregating.

I looked away, as George reached my table, his hand held out to shake, the usual immaculate suit and tie befitting to a senior studio executive. As we both turned back to sit at the table, I heard a loud crash, followed by the cold coffee splattering down my sleeve, and over my hand. I heard a man’s voice, deep and gravelly, saying “Oh my God, dude” followed by a snicker of laughter.

Looking down, I saw the dark haired man, sprawled on the floor, his hand resting on the edge of the table, where presumably he had fallen and launched the coffee all over me. I was not pleased, and gave him a glare that could have stopped a clock.

He looked up at me, stuttering an apology, blushing bright pink as the bald man tried to haul him upright. I was still not amused; they were old enough to know better. I rudely turned my back as the failed acrobat tried again to speak, my attention on George as he ushered me away from the scene.

That was how I met Zak Bagans.


	2. I've heard of you....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introductions

As it happened, my programme was accepted, my suit survived the dry cleaners, and I had all but forgotten the incident, when two weeks later the same thing happened again. Well, not quite the same, as I was walking around the open market, heaping fruit into my basket, when I turned sharply, probably my fault, only to get a large splash of orange juice over the front of my white shirt.

Pushing my sunglasses up, I stared at the tall man, also with a basket, and a now empty drink carton in his hand. I recognised the hair, then the height, and much as I tried to hold it back, I had to smile at the pink blush now blooming over his face.

“Are you serious?” I tried to keep my voice level, and as menacing as I could manage, as I watched the obvious embarrassment he suffered.

“I’m so very sorry….” His voice was deep, as he put down his basket and held his hands up, palms towards me, in a gesture of surrender. “Jesus….you’re the girl I launched the coffee on….oh my God….I’m not usually such a klutz….can I pay for the dry cleaning? Buy you a coffee…?”

At that, although he was really trying to make amends, I burst out laughing.

“Buy me a coffee…..do you really think I would feel safe with anything liquid around you…..I don’t think so mister…….”

“Zak. My name’s Zak.”

“Well, Mr Zak….I think any drink is totally out of the question!”

I saw his face, downcast, and I realised I was still being mean….it’s a habit I have….must stop being mean to people.....

“OK….what about you buy me an ice-cream…..after I get a new T shirt….would that be OK do you think?” I smiled at him, which was not difficult; he really was quite an attractive man.

 

So about thirty minutes later, we were seated at a small circular table, in an ice cream parlour by the side of the market, on spindly metal chairs. Zak, true to his word, had bought the ice creams, and I, resplendent in a cheap, but clean, cotton tee shirt, was taking the opportunity to check him out. It seemed to me he was quite shy, despite his tough guy looks; the muscles and tattoos were not obtrusive, but enough to make a statement. He was older than I first guessed; a few laugh lines spread from the corners of his eyes, but he looked like he took a pride in his appearance, especially the hair. Somewhere I heard the little voice inside me, the one I try to ignore, telling me he was also very sexy, in a reserved sort of way.

He was wiping his mouth, the ice cream gone, when I started the conversation, curiosity as much as anything prompting me.

“So, Mr Zak, what do you do for a living…..I’m guessing you don’t get those kind of clothes at the thrift store?”

His eyes glanced up to meet mine, a spark of something like annoyance flickering then going out in the unusual smoky blue eyes.

“I make TV programmes……I’m interested in finding out….no..proving….what happens after death. Me and my crew visit haunted sites and check out the spirits. We’re in our tenth year…..”  
His strong jaw rose proudly, and I blinked, as I realised who I was sitting with.

“You’re Zak Bagans….I’ve heard of you…you do Ghost Hunters…”

“Ghost Adventures” he corrected me; I got another spark of irritation, flaring then disappearing without trace. “What do you do?”

“I make TV programmes too, only one has gotten air time, so far, but I aim to do a series... all different but all centering around a theme….”

“Which is….?” He interrupted.

“Women..their role in history...as rulers, as sex objects...that kind of thing….” I stared him in the eye, registering the surprised lift of his well defined eyebrows. His tongue flicked over his bottom lip, like a desert lizard, as he looked quickly away.

“That’s interesting……sex and death…..the two main preoccupations of the human race, I’d say…” he recovered his composure, and smiled across at me, his teeth white against his tanned face. “If you don’t mind me asking, what is your current production covering….or uncovering….?” His brows rose again, like a naughty schoolboy. There was something intriguing about him, something which may be better left alone.

“I’m making a programme about Mistresses…..mostly centred on England and Europe, where the concept of Lover and Mistress has been around for centuries.”  
He leaned towards me, evidently interested in what I had to say.

“So, a ‘mistress’, was that like a whore…or a prostitute…?” His voice was low, careful to keep our conversation private.

“No…not at all…a mistress, unlike a whore, often had a position of real power….she may have been kept by her lover, a room…a house….some even had palaces…..but in return she gave him loyalty, advice, provided a refuge from his work, wife and children….and, of course, excellent sex.”

Zak grinned and chuckled, a contagious sound if ever I heard one. “Sounds like ‘friends with benefits’, don’t you think?” His eyes bored into mine; he was clearly interested.

“Could be, I suppose, but the fuck-buddies of today may not have the same commitment as the liaisons of the past…but it’s something I’ll be finding out when I do my research. But now I must go, thanks for the ice cream….it’s been really interesting to meet you…”

I stood, offering my hand. The spindly chair on which he sat seemed to unbend slowly, as he rose to shake my hand. His palm was warm and sufficiently calloused for me to recognise that he did, in fact, work for a living. He didn’t let me go; before I knew it he was saying the five words guaranteed to make a girl react.

“Can I see you again?”

I took a deep breath…..


	3. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Invitation accepted.....

He was smiling, but the grin was slowly subsiding, the longer I took to answer.

“Mmmm….I don’t know how to say this, because I think we might have a great deal in common, but I like to be anonymous, and unattached. Being seen out with you would have all the twitter and social media sites buzzing. It wouldn’t be good for either of us.”  
I felt genuine regret, as I tried, gently, to put him off. He looked away, then back at me, his eyes hooded and intense as he stared into mine. “Could I meet you somewhere private…we don’t have to go out…..I could make dinner if you liked….”

Against my better instincts, I reached into my large purse, pulling out a pad of yellow post it notes and a pen.

“Here….I’ll be out of town for a week, but if you call me after then, I’ll answer. But I’m not promising anything…” He took the small yellow note, and tucked it in his shirt pocket.

“OK……take care……”

“You too……”

I picked up my shopping bag, and walked quickly away, the memory of his spiked hair and bright blue eyes lingering in my mind for quite a while.

 

It was almost ten days later when I returned to my apartment, the fridge empty and the red light on the answerphone panicking as usual. Kicking off my shoes I slumped into the low chair in front of the computer, and fired it up. The phone beeped and messages followed, mostly my PA, Kelsi, updating me on the latest arrangements, and the studio pestering me for updates of the film I had been desperately trying to finish. About two thirds of the way through the playback, I heard a deep voice I recognised.

“Hi, Marianne, it’s Zak. I wondered if you were ready for dinner? Let me know. Bye.” Then he read out his mobile number, as if it were an afterthought.

I got the distinct impression that if I ignored his message, he wouldn’t call again….he was that sort of man. I put my bare feet up on the desktop and tried to consider my best course of action. Since I left France I had spent all my time trying to make a name for myself as a producer, at the expense of friendships and relationships. I was in no way ready to make room in my life for anyone’s demands on me, and I suspected he could be quite a demanding person. Almost without my permission, my hand picked up the phone, and I dialled the number…….was this going to be something I would regret?


	4. Getting to know you....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and Conversation

I pulled up on a street near to the address he had given, cautiously looking around as if there were stalkers on every corner. Eventually, I turned onto his avenue, past the huge gates of the properties belonging to the rich and famous, to come to a stop at another pair of huge iron gates, where a security camera was already giving me the eye. My heart was fluttering stupidly, as I pressed the communication button, waiting to hear his voice. As it was, what I heard was a dog barking loudly, followed by him saying “Gracie, shut up… be quiet girl….Hello?”

“Hi, it’s me…I’m at the gate….”

“Ok….come on in…..”

The dog was still barking as he cut off the channel, and the gates swung open. It was almost eight in the evening. Earlier, when I told him I had just got back, and there was no food in the fridge, he had offered, once again, to make dinner. So, showered and changed into simple jeans and top, with sandals on my feet, the only hope in my mind was that he could actually cook.

 

The door opened to reveal the top of Zak’s hair, spiked as he usually wore it, as he bent down to hold onto an excited cream and black dog. He smiled up at me, and introduced his dog, Gracie. I bent down to fuss her, and cracked my head on the man’s forehead, as he leaned down at the same time. Not a good start.

“Ow….sorry….” I apologised, rubbing the side of my head. He stood back, also rubbing his temple.

“You’ve got a hard head, lady….” He grimaced, but then smiled. “At this rate we will need a special insurance policy just to be within three feet of each other….”

I smiled back at him, as, with one hand grasping the dog’s collar, he ushered me inside.

“Nice place you have.” I remarked, honestly, looking around at the masculine décor, noticing that everywhere was clean and tidy, no dog hairs on the couch, and a very appetising smell drifting in from the kitchen. “Smells wonderful….”

“Chicken….with salad and jackets…hope you’re hungry…can I get you a drink?”

He seemed fairly relaxed, a well practised host, as I asked for a bottle of water, the head cracking incident forgotten. We ate in a small alcove off the main room, the food delicious, and I relaxed, enjoying his company, as we discussed travel, mainly France, where Zak had made an episode last year. He was surprised to learn that I was born in France, my mothers family still lives there, and I was in turn very interested to find out about the Paris Catacombs, which he described in vivid detail.

We were drinking tea in the large open plan lounge when the subject got around, as I suspected it would, to my current project.  
“What made you choose mistresses….I mean I can understand you picking on sex as a topic, after all, ‘sex sells’ so they say…” he gave a rather salacious wink as he said this, making me laugh. “but isn’t it a little outdated…after all friends with benefits, the whole ‘fuckbuddy’ thing…it’s all so …so…”

“Commonplace?” I finished the sentence.

“I guess so….isn’t it?”

“Well, have you ever had a ‘fuckbuddy’ Zak?” I was putting him on the spot, and loving it. “Or had that kind of relationship? Most times people, men and women, want the sex, but go all around the houses…dinner…(it was my turn to wink in the direction of the kitchen, making him re-cross his legs in a slightly nervous gesture…inwardly I was having a blast…) dates…movies…all fine if you really are hooked on a person…but often people are in relationships for all the wrong reasons…”

“You cynic, I can see relationships, children…etc etc… dying out if we all went down that route…” he was not smiling, and I guessed I’d hit a nerve.

“Is that what you’re looking for, Zak?” I tried to be gentle, aware that I’d been ignoring his feelings, which were now possibly crushed.

“No. Definitely not. I made my mind up some time ago that I wanted to be free to concentrate on my work, and as no one has come along to change my mind…well, I reckon I’ll make do with the occasional hook up. That suits me fine.” Something in his voice made me wonder if he was being honest with me, but I didn’t want to pry. I had the sense that the conversation was heading into deep waters, and as it was getting late, I began to make the moves to depart

At the door, he was close behind me as he reached around and swung it open. I turned, ready to say goodnight. He stared into my eyes, and I took a step back, I really didn’t want this to get awkward. 

 

“Goodnight, Zak, it’s been a lovely evening…….I enjoyed our conversation…”

His hand gently took my forearm….’oh-oh’ I thought.

“Perhaps we could meet up again…..you’ve got me curious….”

I must have looked a little guarded, as he dropped his hand, but his eyes never wavered from mine.

“You know what curiosity did, don’t you? It killed the cat.”

I forced myself to turn away, down the steps and straight into my car. I waved as I started the engine, and he waved back, the dog next to him slowly wagging her tail. I drove away with my head full of those deep blue eyes, hoping I’d done sufficient to put him off, because if he did call again, I might find him just too difficult to resist.


	5. Lockdown Hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleeping Beauty lost in the wilderness

Things were going according to plan, always a bad sign. The editing was done, and I now had several weeks to wait whilst my programme rested in the hands of the studio. I was planning on swimming in the pool which came with the house, one of those long narrow strips of water, with a built in resistance. I usually did about an hour each morning, as I hated the gym with a passion. That, together with the hikes into the nearby mountains kept me in shape. As the day was clear and bright, I packed my rucksack and prepared to head out.

Walking along the paths in what seemed like total isolation, is the best way I know to clear the mind. What few clouds I could see were like white cotton and travelled across the blue sky effortlessly on the back of a gentle breeze. I followed the pathways, taking notice of the wildflowers, the birdsong, it all adding to the elusive sense of peace I needed. About an hour into my hike, thinking it might just be time for an early lunch, I was keeping my eyes open, looking for a good place to stop and eat. I was still thinking about Zak, but he hadn’t called, and I told myself it was for the best. 

He had been right when he said I had a hard head, but I also have a very soft heart, one that I was determined not to have messed with. I had dated one or two guys, but not clicked with any of them; if I were honest with myself, never having managed to sustain a proper adult relationship made me feel a bit of a failure, and I was both open to and terrified of getting involved. 

I was hoping that I would reach a point in my career when I felt like I’d made it, without trying to divide my attention between a relationship and work. Walking in the sunlight, I reflected on how far I had progressed; getting myself educated, and finding that my passion for history, film making, and interest in people all combined quite beautifully in my career.  
I walked on, deep in such thoughts, along a narrow path which overlooked the valley below, as it curved in and out at the side of the slope. Apart from the birdsong, and the insects buzzing, it was quiet. I was startled to hear, in front of me, what sounded like a child sobbing. I carried on cautiously around the next bend, then stopped sharply, when I saw a cream and grey dog, a familiar looking animal, crouched by the side of the path.

Striding quickly to the dog, I gasped in total amazement, as I saw Zak, slumped against the rock wall, his head leaned forward in his hands. I must have said something like “Hey, Zak, what’s up…?” quietly, so as not so startle him. He lifted his head, and muttered something I couldn’t hear, then let his head droop forward.  
I pulled the water out of my pack, and, sitting in the dust next to him, tried to get him to take a sip. I figured that the heat must have got to him, although he was wearing a hat, and had a pack next to him. He didn’t seem interested at first, but after a little persuasion, he took some water, and a few bites of the sandwich I had in my pack. I was trying to offer encouragement to him, but he didn’t speak, he just looked drained and out of it. Behind his sunglasses I saw dark shadows under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept for days. 

Once we had eaten the sandwiches, I offered him an apple, but he waved it away, and quietly curled down onto the dusty ground. 

“I just need 5 minutes nap…..wake me in 5 minutes….right…..?”

It was almost an hour later, the sun was heading down, and I thought we had better make a move. I shook his arm gently, as the dog whined and licked his face. His legs jerked, and he was muttering to a guy called Aaron when he came out of his sleep. I had taken the precaution of removing his sunglasses, which were resting on a rock alongside him.  
He pushed himself up, looking around in amazement, at the hillside, then at me.

“Wha….wha…the fuck am I doing here?”

I told him he had been asleep almost an hour, and gave him another sip of water.

“Come on Zak, time we were going. Where’s your car?”

Fortunately his car was nearer than mine, and we loped along, mostly in silence, until we reached his large black 4 x 4. I got into the driver's seat and pulled it forward, to accommodate my smaller frame.

“I’ll drive you home, then I can get a taxi…will you be ok?” He was looking pale and leaning back in the passenger seat with his eyes closed. I wasn’t at all sure what was wrong with him, and considered taking him to the ER. 

“I’m ok. Just need sleep……haven’t slept in three days…..Thanks for taking care of me….”

His eyelids fluttered, then he fell asleep again.


	6. Just let me sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zak needs to sleep off the after effects of the lockdown

I wasn’t sure if I could find his house again, but, with only one wrong turning on the way, I got to his gates, and realised that I didn’t have the code.

“Zak…..Zak!! what’s the code for your gate?”

He muttered the number, and we drove into the yard. Gracie jumped out, making funny little growly yippy noises, and I guessed she was finding Zak’s behaviour quite strange. I wondered, as I helped him out of the car, if this was something that had happened through his work, or if he’d been ill. He got the door open and we all went inside.

I went to the kitchen, where the immaculate work tops and lack of clutter spoke of Zak’s orderly mind. A few minutes later we had two mugs of tea steaming between us, and Gracie was happily crunching through some doggy biscuits. I looked over at Zak, his face still looked pale, streaked with dust and, what appeared to be sun screen. His clothes were also covered in a fine layer of the chalky residue from the rocks he had been lying on. I was in roughly the same state; my legs were caked in dust sticking to my skin, and my shorts and T shirt were sweat stained as well as dirty.

“Do you need something to eat?” I asked but he shook his head.

“Nope. I need a shower and more sleep….I didn’t realise how weak I felt…it’s just lucky you came along when you did, or I’d still be asleep.”

His eyes held a trace of humour, although he still looked shattered. I felt like I wanted to cuddle him, but quickly pushed that thought away.

“I should be going…” I pulled my phone from my bag ready to call for a cab to take me back to pick up my car, but his long fingers curled around my wrist before I could push in the code.  
“Stay…..please……I’ll sleep better if you’re here….if you go….humm…..I only need an hour and I’ll be good as new….” His eyes, behind the black framed glasses, were pleading, and I just couldn’t refuse.

“OK…but I’ll need a shower……and some different clothes….” I grimaced at the clothes I was wearing, as he slowly pushed himself up from the chair. 

“Use one of the guest rooms, I’ll show you, and if you don’t mind rolled up hems, I’ll get you some clothes.”

Gradually we sorted ourselves out, and I emerged from the guest room, dressed in rolled up jeans and a baggy T shirt, to go downstairs. I couldn’t hear Zak, so I presumed he must be asleep. Wandering around in his house felt a little strange, he had some weird paintings, as well as a few downright creepy ornaments. It was mostly his book collection which fascinated me, and I spent the next hour or so happily browsing books about diverse subjects such as vampires, healing spells, and haunted objects.

Eventually, I made two more mugs of tea, and carried them upstairs. I knocked on the door before I went in, but Zak was laid on the bed, still fast asleep. His hair was unstyled, dropping over his forehead, making him look younger, his eyebrows drawn together in a slight scowl. I drew up the cover to his shoulders, and he muttered, dreaming, his eyes staying closed.

I put the mug on the coaster on his cabinet, and listened to his deep regular breathing. I had a strong suspicion that he’d probably sleep until morning, and although it was tempting to climb in the bed and snuggle up to him, I wasn’t going to be so forward. After petting Gracie, and putting my dirty clothes in my bag, I let the door latch behind me and waited in the balmy evening air for the taxi to take me back to my car.


	7. Halloween Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance meeting at Halloween

Two days later a large bouquet of flowers turned up, with a handwritten note.

“Thanks for helping me out.  
See you again soon?  
Zak XX”

The black spikey writing made me smile, as it seemed to reflect his character. The flowers were amazing, deep red, almost black roses, and big crimson gladioli, a weird and unusual mix. I had a moment of happiness, realising that he had sent me flowers. I did my swimming that day, thoughts of him swirling around in my head, wondering if I should follow up and call him to thank him for the flowers. I knew I had got the hots for him; the memory of his wide shoulders above the bed covers was disturbing. I found something about the strength of him, coupled with the smooth skin, to be deeply erotic.

I tried to put him out of my mind, as all my attention was on sorting out small glitches on the filming. A fortnight passed in a blur of writing voice overs and editing. I needed a break.   
It was the evening of the studio’s annual Halloween costume ball, and I had spent all afternoon getting my outfit ready; a long black skirt shaped like an inverted tulip, black boots, and a halter neck top in a glowing red silk. My favourite part was the crown, I had made it myself from twisted metal coat hangers, all sprayed to look like tarnished silver, and decorated with black lace and ruby coloured jewels. With my dark hair piled high, I could pull down the lace over my eyes, and play the wicked queen rocking a red lip.

The evening seemed full of promise; small ruby fairy lights, goblins, black cats, everything Halloween was packed into the ballroom. Despite arriving alone I was determined to enjoy myself, there were several of the studio people I knew, all wearing truly fantastic costumes, and I found it easy to join their group, chatting and joking. Then the dancing started, and I couldn’t sit down. I didn’t see the tall man with the spiky hair, but in a way I was pleased; I could enjoy the music and dance to my heart’s content, without the distraction. 

Some time later, flushed and a little out of breath, I was standing in front of a mirror painted with spider webs, trying to de-tangle a long ringlet of hair from the clasp of my necklace. The lighting was dim in that corner, and I was struggling, pulling on my hair was just making it worse. I looked up, back in the mirror, as a familiar hairstyle approached. The pale powdered face, shaded with contour, and black rimmed eyes were weird, but I’d recognise the hair anywhere.

“Hey Zak..” I smiled to his reflection, my red lips full and lush in the glossy lipstick.

“Hey…..I was hoping to see you…..what are you doing?”

My hands were still fiddling with my necklace, where my hair was trapped.

“I’ve got my hair stuck…..and I think I’m just making it worse…” 

Zak moved to stand behind me, close enough for me to feel the heat of his body against the bare skin of my back.

“Shall I try? Untangling Witch Queens is my speciality..” He smiled at me, revealing a pair of fangs, sexy and at the same time a little menacing.

“Go for it…..” I let my hands drop and felt the pads of his long fingers gently teasing against my hair and neck. A tremble of excitement was building inside me, as the warmth of him, combined with the gentle touches threatened to make me shiver noticeably. I could feel his breath on my skin, as he leaned in close. Close enough for me to smell him. It took him a short time to free my hair, and he straightened up, gazing down over my back, displayed in the halterneck top.

I glanced up over my shoulder, his face was just a few inches away, and even with makeup on I liked the way he looked, his eyes dark, drawing me closer with the sort of inevitability which made my heart beat faster. He was close enough to kiss me, and I couldn’t wait, twisting around to face him.

Luckily, I still had my eyes open, as despite the dim lighting, I saw a pale face looming over his shoulder.

“Zak….babe….what are you doing here…..?”


	8. Witch Queen meets Bitch Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see chapter title....

A very tall woman, mostly hair extensions and crazily high heels, put her arm around his neck and tugged. Zak rolled his eyes at me before he turned to face her. He opened his mouth to speak, I guessed to introduce us, when she cut in, giving me a look which quite clearly told me to back off. Her dress was short, low cut and, I thought, rather tarty. She tossed the long blond hair extensions, and almost dragged Zak away from me. Loud and a little bit slurry, proclaiming she needed a drink, she led him away. 

I was totally taken aback. So much for not having relationships, Zak had let her walk all over him. I took a deep breath to calm myself, and walked off in the opposite direction, my excitement as burned as tomorrow’s pumpkins. I wandered onto the dance floor, where a rock band had taken over, and was soon caught up in the dance, Zak’s dark hair and blue eyes purposefully erased from my mind.

The evening was drawing to a close; my feet were sore and I had danced enough to make my legs ache. I said goodnight to the few people who were left at the tables, in various states of drunkenness, and made my way to the exit, via the cloakroom. I was just on the point of stepping out for a cab when someone grabbed my arm.

“Hey, let me go…..” My voice seemed loud in the relative quiet of the foyer. The tall figure next to me quickly let go of my arm, and stepped into the light.

“Hey, Marianne…it’s me…Zak…”

“Oh. Hi. I’m just on my way home…..it’s been a great evening….did you and your girlfriend enjoy it?”

I had to say something….I couldn’t let him just ignore what had happened.

“Oh… she’s not my girlfriend. She ‘won’ an evening out as a prize, and she has been a complete nightmare! I just put her in one of the studio cars…I have had enough….”

“She won an evening with you? “ I raised an eyebrow at him, sounding as if I didn’t believe him, which I didn’t.

“Yeah….” He looked sheepishly at his feet. “At the animal rescue they needed a prize…and I got roped in…”

“A prize! Sounds a little like a prize fantasy to me……I can’t see you selling many tickets…but then, it’s Halloween, and you do look the part….”

He reached into his top pocket and removed a small piece of crumpled paper. Smoothing it over he held it out towards me. I took it and held it to the light.

“Annual Animal Rescue Halloween Raffle

1st Prize – Evening at the Travel Channel Costume Ball

With MR ZAK BAGANS.”

I swallowed, embarrassed, and turned away so he couldn’t see my expression.

“I’m sorry Zak….I don’t know why I gave you a hard time….it’s totally your business…..”

He smiled at me, the fangs catching the light.

Suddenly a group of stragglers entered the foyer, all loud voices and laughter, heading towards where we were standing. Zak took my arm, leading me down the small corridor at the side of the cloakroom. We stood in the shadows, close together; so close I could feel his breath on my face, as he stared into my eyes.

“You have to believe me Marianne, the woman you saw means nothing to me, I’d rather have stayed in with Gracie than make a spectacle of myself with some half drunk, grabby prize winner.

He smiled again, a gleam of white teeth in the gloom.

“Well, you put your fangs in…...very sexy for someone not wanting to create attention.” I still didn’t want to let him off the hook, I was tired, and needed to keep him at arms length, whilst his closeness, and the faint smell of a smooth cologne was playing havoc with my senses. We stayed in hiding, both lost in the moment, until I noticed that it was quiet again. I put my hand on the centre of his broad chest and pushed gently. “I should get going. Goodnight Zak.”

I took long strides back to the exit, where, as if on command, a cab was waiting. I didn’t even look back.


	9. Developments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zak and Marianne have their work in common, so naturally......

The following morning, lying in bed, feet too sore to stand, (a good excuse!) I was trawling the internet. Lo and behold, loads of pictures of Zak, a long haired female wrapped around him, kissing his neck, while he smiled broadly into the camera. I felt the bubble inside me turn into a rock of sadness; why did he have to lie to me? I determined that I would have nothing more to do with him, and stomped out of bed to make tea, despite my sore feet.

It took me a while to regain my composure, as I first had to talk myself into believing that it really didn’t matter….Zak could be with whoever he wanted, and just because he had been giving me those soft smoky come-to-bed eyes, didn’t mean I was going to turn to a jelly and just let him lie to me to get what he wanted. I was simply going to ignore him. Making my mind up, I turned to my E mails, determined to lose myself in work.

Sixty seconds later I was stomping round the room ready to throw a hissy fit. Ignoring him was going to become almost impossible, as the studio, in their wisdom, had come up with the idea that we should combine our talents, and search for well known female spirits in historic locations. Ghost Adventures meets Marianne Caro. I provide the narrative about the historic backdrop, the insight into the spirit presences, and Zac and his crew would do the investigations…..possibly with me tagging along.

I thought about turning it down, but quickly realised that, in theory at least, it was a good idea. I called Kelsi, my head buzzing.

“Hi Kels…..have you seen the E mail from the Channel? What do you think?”

Her warm, Texan lilt was like a smile.

“You get to work with Zak Bagans. The Zak Bagans! You sure are one lucky woman honey….wait till you meet him….he’s gorgeous…..”

“I’ve already met him.” My voice came out flat compared to her excited babble.

“Oh…..Oh? What did you think….he’s got a huge fan following, and his programmes are fantastic…”

“Never seen one,” I cut in, slightly irritated by her gushing; I just had a lot of doubts that I could work with Zak, mostly fearing there would be two extremes, either I would fall hard for him, and he would turn out to be a rat, or we would hate each other, and both be obnoxious. I couldn’t imagine a middle ground. Kelsi broke into my thoughts, her voice raised in excitement.  
“Let me arrange a meeting, presumably the Crew have been sent the same ‘suggestion’, so we’ll suss them out...see how they feel about it…..if they want to do it…..what do ya say?”

Sometimes Kelsi was less like a PA and more like a big sister, but I trusted her, and liked her immensely, so I usually gave way to her suggestions. 

“OK, but make it a bit low key….not the usual studio junket….and don’t, do not commit to anything...I want to be sure this is a good move, and not be lured into it by the charms of Mr Bagans.”

Kelsi laughed, promised she would do what I asked, and hung up. 

I was left alone with my thoughts.


	10. Meet to discuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking Tactics, will their collaboration work out...?

A few days later I was alternately twitching at my hair, and pulling at the hem of my T shirt, as I waited for Kelsi. She watched me in the mirror as she washed her hands, then slowly patting them dry on a paper towel.

“Lordy Mar...just relax….they are basically just cowboys with cameras, there’s no need to be nervous.”

“I’m not. I just feel a bit awkward around Zak, s’all”

I had told her all that had taken place between us, and she just shrugged. “Keep cool, it’s not like you slept with him…..” her eyes sparkled as she giggled. I checked my teeth for lipstick, took her arm, and headed out.

It wasn’t as bad as I expected, as Zak introduced the rest of his crew. The tall bald man was called Aaron; he was basically a goofy clown, but I guessed he had a serious side to him. Billy and Jay were the two ‘junior’ members; Billy quite a likeable character, and Jay, quiet and unassuming. Zak was pleasant enough, dark glasses shading his eyes, eager to discuss business. We talked as we ate, the scenarios Zak had envisioned rolling out as he glowingly described some of the locations we could use. I had a suspicion that it was his idea in the first place, but didn’t make any objections as it was beginning to sound like it would make good viewing.

I had, by then, watched some episodes of Ghost Adventures, and was familiar with the format Zak used, and the way he put together the programmes he produced, although I wasn’t totally sold on the supernatural. I had been brought up to believe that ghosts and the like were just products of an overactive imagination, and the more Zak talked about the project, the more I recognised his vividly overactive imagination.

He had finished his plate of food, and was using his fork to emphasise his point, by jabbing it in the air. A tiny smudge of tomato sauce decorated his chin, and I found myself longing to lick it off. I took a long swallow of water, mentally pulling myself together; Dammit to hell, I still found him attractive, but, as we were discussing business, it was totally inappropriate.  
We moved over to the comfy seats for coffee, and began starting to map out what, and where we would ‘investigate’ as Zak called it. 

Eventually we had a plan; a small bijoux mansion, where the Remona family had lived, last occupied over fifty years ago. The female members all seemed to have come to bad ends, a murder, a suicide, and a death in childbirth. The house was unoccupied, and judging by the two photos Aaron brought up on his phone, the sprawling mansion appeared to be falling into a state of dereliction.

Zak had never been in the house; finding it was just mere chance. He looked over to me, smiling, the slanting sunlight streaming over his glossy dark hair, and lighting his eyes behind the dark lenses.

“Well Marianne, do you think you could manage the lockdown with us guys? We’ll look after you, and Aaron will promise not to fart”. As if on cue, Aaron let rip, and we all creased up laughing. Zak, acting like he was not part of his rowdy gang, but with a smirk on his face that belied it, suggested that we both have a think about how we should approach the job, then get together again to share ideas.

We were on our way out, Billy and Jay had already left, leaving Aaron and Kelsi giggling together whilst Zak and I walked on ahead. He turned to me, and my stomach took a lurch, as he removed his sunglasses.

“Marianne, what’s wrong….I feel like you’re avoiding me?” His voice was low, but it seemed to contain a certain amount of angst. I looked back into his eyes, seeing how serious he was in the depths of those stormy blues.

“Zak, when you told me the girl who won you as a prize meant nothing to you, I didn’t expect to see her kissing you, pictures all over the internet. You either are a bit of a slut, or you did like her, and you were lying to me.” My voice was low and even, and I looked him straight in the eyes as I delivered my little speech. I wished then that I hadn’t been quite so hard on him, as he blinked rapidly, quickly putting back the sunglasses.

“Sorry Marianne, but it was nothing like that. I let her carry on simply not to cause a scene, and I am certainly not a slut, whatever you might think.” His voice turned icy as he turned towards Aaron.

“Hey, come on dude, I need to get back to Gracie….”

They both got in the car and left in a cloud of dust. Kelsi turned to me, the smile dying on her face, when she saw my expression.

“That went well……” she said, hesitantly.

“Yeah….didn’t it just….”


	11. Playing Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little together time.....with a bouquet of roses.....nice...

I concentrated on research, Zak’s presence firmly relegated to the back of my mind. Zak had passed on some information he had received about the mansion we would be visiting. It proved to be interesting, the story of the family both shocking and intriguing. The information Zak had received detailed that some of the period clothing, along with the furniture, were still kept there. I expected Zak was already bouncing around in excitement, so I typed up my summary of the story, how I would approach it on film, and the points I would aim to make clear.

I pinged it to Zak, and sat back. I made some mint tea, and spent a few moments staring into space. I was interrupted by the mobile ringing. 

“Hi Zak…”

“Hi Marianne…...you ok?”

“Yeah…..have you read the synopsis I sent?”

“Yeah...it looks fine, well, it looks great actually...just the sort of thing I was hoping for….” his voice halted, and I sensed that whatever he wanted to say was sticking in his throat.

“What’s up, Zak…..tell me?” something about him made me want to be close to him; I’d seen his vulnerable self and I knew he wasn’t as tough as he appeared. I waited, the silence growing like a web between us.

“Marianne….I really didn’t date that girl…..and I’m not a slut……”

His voice was low. as he mumbled out the words. I felt like I had a child on the naughty step, making an apology, whilst holding up his arms for a hug.

“OK...I’m sorry...I was too tough on you….it’s one of my failings, being mean to people, I’ll try to make amends.” I heard his breath over the phone huffing out like he had been holding his breath. I continued, hoping to find a normal level of communication.

“Do you want to go over the rest of it together? It’s easier if we both look at it, so you can tell me the parts you think would come over better on the show.” It was his show after all….

“That’s a great idea….where….do you want to meet at the studio? “

“Nah...it’s always full of mad people filming Ghost documentaries…..come over to mine….I’ll do dinner…..” I halted, but then interrupted him as he was about to take me up on the offer.

“I’m offering the olive branch…..nothing else….are we clear on that…?”

“Yes Ma’am..” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I wondered if he was taking me seriously.

 

Zak’s broad shoulders almost spanned the doorway, a large bunch of those weird coloured roses clutched in his hand.

“I brought these…..I hoped we could have a fresh start…..”

He was mumbling slightly, his eyes soft and dreamy behind the heavy glasses. I took the flowers, my head reeling from their seductive scent.

“Zak...they’re gorgeous…..come in and have a cup of tea…….and we’ll try to ‘play nice’.”

I stood back, and he slipped out of his jacket, and heeled off the boots as he glimpsed the cream carpet. I led him into the kitchen, where I put the kettle to boil, and filled my largest vase.  
“These really are an unusual colour….and the smell is heavenly……” I made small talk, as I tried to conquer the nervous butterflies in my stomach.

He was leaning against the cupboard, a swathe of sunlight highlighting a diagonal of his face and shoulder. His eyes looked very blue. I turned, the kettle switching off with a soft pop.

We spent a while, drinking tea and discussing the programme. Zak had an almost fanatical attention to detail, making notes and referring to his phone on and off. I had made a simple stew, with tiny herb dumplings, which we ate whilst still talking about the programme. I tried to concentrate on his plans, adding my own suggestions, finding that although he could be a little domineering, and stubborn, if I was persistent, I could get him to slow down and listen. At one point he pulled up an episode of Ghost Adventures, to give me an idea of the scenario he had in mind. I giggled helplessly, as Aaron appeared, wearing a red wig, as Zak talked through the scene. A new face appeared, holding a camera, a wide grin close to the screen.

“Who’s that?” I asked. Zak’s face became suddenly sad and serious, his eyes downcast.

“Nick. He helped me start up the whole Ghost Adventures thing. We had ...a parting of the ways.”

He closed the laptop decisively, and I took the hint that the subject was also closed. After that he seemed a bit quiet, more subdued, so we wandered off the subject, and he told me how he first got interested in ghosts. I opened up a bit about my past, finding him a good listener, although I didn’t go into too much detail. My own personal stuff I wanted to keep private, and although I was liking Zak more and more, I didn’t feel ready to share all. Not then at least.

The afternoon came and went, and it was time for him to go. We had agreed on some dates for our filming, and would travel down in November to get set up. 

“I’ll see you then…” I waited for him to finish tying his bootlaces, and passed him his coat. Before he could make any moves, I opened the door.

Although he looked good enough to eat, we had to be professional. I waved him off, my insides clamouring for something I wasn’t prepared to acknowledge.


	12. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations for the lockdown

It was mid November already, and I travelled to the hotel alone, texting Zak and the crew when I arrived. The location was beautiful, the hotel located in the middle of a country park, with walks and riding available. The Remona family mansion was located a couple of miles down the road. I checked in, then started to feel nervous. I hadn’t seen him for a while, and whilst trying to be cool and professional, I had a few anticipatory jitters.

I needn’t have worried, the guys were sweet, and Zak, surrounded by his entourage, managed to switch roles seamlessly between that of the dorky clown, and the serious man in charge. He was friendly and courteous with me, but nothing more…..no lingering looks, or furtive whispers. I relaxed into the evening meal, knowing that tomorrow’s filming would be all the easier without Zak and I playing star crossed lovers. Despite that, the flare up of attraction I felt for him had not gone away.

Next morning, we took a tour of the large house, each of us walking through in silence, picking up the atmosphere; on the lookout for cold spots, noises, any changes we could feel with our bodies, in fact anything at all which seemed different or unusual. The sceptic in me was pretty sure that a building like this was bound to have ‘unusual’ stuff inside; after all, one hundred and fifty years was bound to leave behind the deterius of other people’s lives. But, I kept my scepticism to myself, I didn’t want to make for anything awkward, this was Zak’s field after all.

The caretaker showed me the room housing the few remaining artifacts that one of the women had left on this earth. The room was on the very top floor, more like an attic, where the clothes were stored in an enormous oak wardrobe, the creaking doors and shroud of dust proving it had been left untouched for quite a considerable time.

I took out the long gown, and woolen cape. Both had been attacked by moths, the colours faded and blurred. A pattern of flowers, in muted pinks, were embroidered into the linen, and I shivered slightly as my hand touched the stitches, wondering about the woman who had held the needle. Zak was moving backwards and forwards across the room, muttering to Billy and prodding the large damp spot spreading along the boards from under the window, opposite the wardrobe.

Eventually, he came over to me, curious to see the clothes.

“Well, what do you think Marianne, will you fit into them…? Are you OK with that?” He shot me a look, and for a moment, I got a brief impression of the warmth behind the Zak-mask.

“Yeah...but Zak, it’s….it’s….”

“What...tell me?”

“It’s the way they smell…….can you smell this?”

I pulled the dress up so he could take a delicate sniff.

“Oh...Jesus….that smells awful…..like BO and dirt….it’s faint, but it’s still there….” He seemed quite excited at the evidence that the dress had been well worn.

“Sorry Zak...I’ll put the cloak on over my coat….but I just couldn’t……”

Suddenly, he smiled at me...like the sun coming out, then rolled his eyes in Aaron’s direction.

“Aaron...Dude….come here….I need you to do something….”

Aaron, like a faithful dog, ambled over to where we were standing.

“Marianne doesn’t like the dress….I don’t know...it’s not her colour….could you..??”

Zak held the dress out to the bald man, and Aaron took a deep breath, pursing his lips.

“Fuck no…..I ain’t dressing up as this woman, Zak…..if her spirit is still here, it might just piss her off..….No man...just fucking no……” His deep raspy voice emphasised his feelings, his eyes wide as his hand rubbed over his scalp in agitation.

“OK….leave it….I’ll ask Billy…...” Zak was getting into this now, and I remember thinking that he falls into character real easy, once he gets an idea in his head.


	13. Lockdown 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Investigation commences

Eventually, we all had our ‘trigger objects’, cameras, torches, and all the other paraphernalia required in place. I was surprised at how long it took to check out everything, the meticulous detail that each of the crew went through before they were satisfied that everything was ready and reliable. Once we had finished that there was just time to chill out in the ‘nerve centre’ with a snack and a drink. I was again surprised at how easily the guys worked together, laughing and joking, throwing stuff and acting goofy. Aaron liked to film short clips for You Tube, from which I stayed well away. 

At the appointed time the caretaker locked us in, Zak pumped up and talking a mile a minute to the cameras. He introduced me, and suddenly I felt very nervous. I mean shaking nervous. I couldn’t understand why, I’d been in front of a camera before, I just couldn’t understand what was causing it, but I tried to keep my wits about me, and follow Zak and Aaron up the stairs. It was dark, but I had a small LCD screen, through which I tried to keep Zak centred at all times. Somehow I wanted to be near to him if anything happened.

Small noises, which sounded to me like the timber of an old house settling, interrupted the flow. Zak held out his VCR, and we held our breath. Aaron had the camera at my back, filming Zak’s reaction as he played back the recording. I had the cloak from the old wardrobe pulled over my coat, the stiff woolen fabric felt heavy and unyielding, compared to the lightweight clothes I usually wore. I leaned towards Zak, close enough to be conscious of the warmth of his face next to mine. The playback crackled, then amazingly a woman’s voice, blurry but loud in the darkness of the room. I looked around at Aaron, who smiled at me, then shook his head. 

Zak was still listening, over and over. Eventually, it came to me what she was saying; it was something like “That’s mine….mine…..” then a few more words and “Back!!”

We continued through the rooms, Zak used the spirit box, then encouraged me to speak. I asked several questions about the history of the place, and the women who had lived there. At one point, we were all shaken to hear the sound of a baby crying. It was loud and clear, coming from one of the bedrooms. Zak radio’d down to Billy, who confirmed that they too had heard the crying baby.

The bedroom was small, and I crowded in next to Zak, Aaron close behind me pointing the camera all around. We were quiet for a few minutes; I was conscious of my heart racing, and my hands freezing. I nearly yelped when I felt Zak’s hand wrap around mine. His fingers were cold too, but he squeezed mine encouragingly. 

“Get on the bed, Marianne…..” his whisper urgent in the frigid air.

“Hell no...in the middle of investigating, you want to get jiggy?” I sniggered and was reassured when both Zak and Aaron laughed too, Zak’s high pitched giggle sounding adorable in the dark.

Before they could ask again, I pulled the bulky cloak out of the way and shuffled backwards onto the bed. I knew that both cameras were on me, so I tried to act serious, listening and looking around the way they both did. Suddenly I heard Zak swear.

“See that….? Aaron, did you see that..?”

“Yeah….a big one, straight down….”

I started to ask what they had seen, when for no reason I got a pain in the gut which bent me in two.

“Jesus….that fucking hurts!”

The pain was like a period pain but a hundred times worse, seeming to pulse in my belly like a living thing. I laid back on the bed, and writhed in agony, calling out in French and English as many curse words as I knew. Zak took my hand, and I gripped his fingers, my body convulsing and teeth chattering.

I remember Aaron’s voice, deep and tense….

“Dude, dude, didn’t the woman die in childbirth? Do you think it’s her spirit doing this to Marianne?”


	14. Lockdown 2 - An angry spirit....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last thing to do....

Zak did no more than to drag me off the bed, and out of the room, to push me into a sitting position on the dusty landing. His hand laid across my forehead, checking my temperature, as I slowly regained my composure. Pushing him away I stood, not without difficulty, the damned cloak was starting to feel like a lead shroud. “I’m ok….let’s carry on…..”

I really wanted to finish, but we still had a few more rooms to do, including the attic. I dragged myself around the rest of the rooms, but stayed out of the cellar, where one of the women had been chained. I could hear Zak, and occasionally Aaron, as I stood at the top of the steps, awaiting their return. I still had the camera, and let it roll, first down the long dark hallway, and then took a shot up the stairs. It had gone quiet in the cellar, and I thought they must have finished, and be preparing to return, so I wasn’t particularly on edge.

That is until I saw a shape forming in my camera. At first all I saw was mist, which I took to be something malfunctioning in the camera. But then, about six feet from me, a figure was standing, looking towards me. She, I thought it was a female, was holding out her arm towards me, and gesturing, as if she wanted me to approach. I took one step, then another, still not frightened. Before I knew what was happening, the figure disappeared from my camera, and I felt an icy cold blast, and a static charge all over my face and hands. More importantly, the cloak was tugged, really hard.

By the time Zak and Aaron came up from the cellar, I was sitting on the steps, dumbfounded by the whole experience.

“I think I got something, guys, you’ll need to rewind the camera...but I’m sure I got the figure of a woman.”

Zak came and crouched down beside me, the solid bulk of his body welcome against my own, as I tried to feel some warmth in my freezing body.

“Here, let Aaron take the camera…...we’re just about finished here….just one more thing to do…”

He stood and held out his hand, which I grasped like a drowning woman.

“What, what do I need to do to get out of here…?”

I felt him smile, even though I couldn’t see him, as he gently squeezed past me and headed up the stairs.

“We’ll just take back the cloak….then we’re done…..”

 

On the second floor, just about to take the final set of stairs, I heard a steady thumping noise. Zak had fallen back, and was now behind me, his face a pale disc as the light from the outside came in through the attic window.

“What is that?” I muttered.

“Dunno…...let’s find out…..” his voice was just a low whisper in the dark. He put his hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

“Hang on - I need to get this thing off me….it’s like a ton weight…..” I pulled off the cloak and dragged it over my arm, ready to replace it in the wardrobe without delay. I could still hear the thumps, sounding like someone’s fist, on the floor of the attic. I really didn’t want to go any further, but Zak was behind me, and somehow I was sure that he wouldn’t let anything hurt me.

As I entered the room, my first impression was that the wardrobe was moving. I could feel the floor vibrating under my feet. Zak pushed me in further, past the enormous wooden cabinet which seemed to be jumping off the floor. 

I was scared, really terrified, that it was going to fall over on top of us, but my feet seemed to be losing their grip on the floor as I tried to get out of the way. It was Zak’s momentum, grabbing my shoulders and hurling me forward that kept me safe. I remember the terrific crash, a deep boom as if the roof had fallen in, then oblivion.


	15. Move Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zak and Marianne keep warm....

Coming back to consciousness, my head was throbbing, and something heavy was across my body, hidden by the darkness. I coughed, dust sticking on the back of my throat. The weight across my hips and legs moved, making a low groaning noise. Still groggy, I put my hands down to touch the shape of Zak’s shoulder, it’s bulk solid under the black jacket. I pushed, gently.  
“Zak….Zak...are you awake? What happened? Why are we on the floor?”

I was asking, but I already knew, as a wave of anxiety trembled inside me. The floor had collapsed. We were trapped at one side of the room, and the stairs were over the other side. In the middle was a gaping hole.

“Zak...don’t move...the floors collapsed….”

The moonlight through the window allowed me to see his face, as his head lifted from it’s pillow on my thigh.

“No shit……..are you hurt?”

He was looking towards me, his hat askew; I could see small spikes of hair sticking out at the sides.

“I’m ok, I think…..we’re close to the wall here...if we move up a bit I’d feel a lot happier. D’ya think Bill or Aaron heard the crash….? Do you have your walkie...maybe we could rouse them…?” Questions flooded out, my first reaction was to get our rescue started.

“Slow down…..we need to be careful here…..the rest could give way at any minute….No, my walkie is in the hallway…..but my pack’s here….somewhere……”   
He sat up cautiously, looking around the room; dust was still swirling out of the broken window, lit by the moonlight and the ambient light outside. He felt around, carefully, searching in the dark for his pack.

We had about six feet in front of us, with our backs up against the wall, before the floor ended.

 

Zak had unpacked his small back pack, and found a bottle of water, an energy bar, some tissues, a torch and his camera. I had a chap stick, a comb, and a packet of raisins. My phone had fallen out of my pocket, and was probably broken in the fall. The floorboards were hard, and it was cold.

We sat side by side, staring at the dark, where the dust seemed to be settling, but the light still had a distortion, a weird reflection from the dust particles suspended in the air. Silence now, everything which could move had settled, maybe ten minutes had passed since we crossed from the door, the same door which now hung suspended over nothing. I shivered, and Zak’s arm, heavy but welcome, wrapped over my shoulder.

“Aaron will come,” He paused, “but it may take a while……” He sighed, quietly. “Fuck……”

“OK...he’ll find us…..we are ok….just got to keep warm…..don’t get upset….we might even see her….” I whispered, smiling at him in encouragement. His long fingers still gripped my shoulder, his mouth downturned. My guess was he was feeling guilty, but there was no need. I came here of my own free will. His head tilted towards me, his eyes lost in the darkness.

“Yeah…..ghosts just love collapsed floors…….”

I leaned into him, looking at him, waiting for him to smile at me. I hadn’t been so close to him since the night of the Costume Ball. He did smile, pulling me closer, and planting a smacker of a kiss on my forehead, “Yeah babe…..we just need to keep warm and hang on……..”

I was still staring up at him….his eyes meeting mine…..the deep blue lost to the dark….but, somewhere I sensed a question...a subtle change in the energy….a movement of his arm. He twisted to move closer, tilting his head almost imperceptibly. He licked his lips, the nervous gesture betraying his intent. My body answered, responding by a speeding heart rate; breath short.

I had no thought but to find his lips in the dark, missing my target and kissing the side of his mouth, a scratch of stubble guiding me along to my goal. The feel of his lips was a mixture of softness and warmth, yielding as I pressed, my senses urging me on to trigger a response. A long pent up desire was taking hold of me, made more intense when his tongue, delicate but demanding, probed my lips, opening me to the full lushness of his kiss.

My arms flew around his neck, so anxious to hold him, despite the bulky coats we were both wearing. The hole in the floor, the room…..everything forgotten as we became totally lost in our kisses. I was pulled against Zak, his arms enclosing me in his warmth, whilst I, becoming bold, fuelled by the need I had been building for so long, had my hands against his skin, under his shirt and tee shirt. The glow spread around to my face and neck; each time we drew back, I could see his face so close to mine, making me giggle slightly. then his smile, and again we’d be back, tongues caressing, making little breathy sounds neither of us could hold back.

I had a seriously urgent need, Zak had created a deluge that I had to get him in me to satisfy. The hard shaft I could feel through his jeans was sending shivers through my body each time he pressed up against me, and I couldn’t resist stroking him with my palm, which started a deep but quiet moan in his throat. We were getting past the point of caring if the floor would collapse, the need to rut like animals was driving us both crazy.


	16. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being saved is an anticlimax...

That is until a blinding light shone in from the window.

“Hey! Hey!! Zak! Marianne! are you in here?”

It was Aaron. Luckily, he hadn’t shone the torch at the edge of the room, and we were able to pull our coats back in place, and move apart before we were caught in the beam. I saw Zak look sideways at me, his hat pulled back over his well mussed hair, a grin noticeable even in the dim room.

“I guess we’ll have to continue this later…” his voice whispered deep and gravelly in my ear.

“Aaron….Aaron...We’re over here. He waved, his other hand still holding mine.

 

They got us out with a complicated arrangement of ropes and ladders, Zak following behind me, as close as he could without being obvious, making sure I was safe. By the time we reached the ground my teeth were chattering, and my legs were shaking. I didn’t know if it was fear or the sexual frustration, but I felt like I was unravelling. Zak and the other crew were all discussing what happened. Seemingly we had had a very narrow escape. I wasn’t listening, and it was only when Aaron offered me coffee from a flask I realised I was so spaced out. As if from far away I heard Zak saying that we should get back to the hotel. Then I was bundled in the back of the van, Zak had his arm around me again, and I closed my eyes.

 

I walked into my room like a zombie from the walking dead. It was 11.00pm but I felt as if I had been awake for days. I trudged into the shower, standing for ages under the hot water, still trying to process what had happened, and mostly why, after all the time Zak and I had spent trying to ignore the attraction we felt, we had just given in to it. (I knew he felt it just as much as I did; despite my inexperience, the way he’d kissed me was unmistakable.)

I dried my hair, letting the curls happen, too preoccupied by Zak, the way he kissed, and the promise of more to come. I wasn’t sure what would happen next. Maybe he’d go all coy and pretend it never happened. On the other hand, he might turn up, fuck me senseless, then turn the charm off and then pretend it never happened. He was such a complicated puzzle of a person, my tired brain was in no fit state to second guess his next move.

 

I took the towel back to the bathroom, and combed my hair through. I looked tired, but otherwise not too bad. I was still feeling jittery, just about to turn off the bedside light when my phone pinged. A text from Zak! I forced myself to slow down, as I read his message.

“Hope you are OK...I’ll see you in the morning xxx”

I was disappointed, but relieved...tiredness was coming over me in waves. I dropped into bed and slept.


	17. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zak and Marianne finish what they started

Next morning I was barely awake when I heard a soft knock at the door.

“Who is it” I called, my heart racing.

“Room Service” came the bored reply.

I hadn’t ordered anything, but maybe the boys ordered something for me.

I pulled my robe around me and opened the door.

Zak was standing there, a take out carrier in one hand, and two paper cups in the other.

“Thought you might be hungry….?” He was smiling, although he still looked tired.

“Thanks, I am a little peckish”

Trying to keep my voice steady, I stood back and let him in the room, pulling the belt of the dressing gown tight around me. I sat on the bed, and he slumped into the armchair, placing the packages on the coffee table between us. I noticed he had showered, and his hair was roughly spiked, although not gelled. My fingers itched to run through the silky strands, but I was trying to play things cool.

It was only a little after six, and I smothered a yawn.

“You’re up early?"

I opened the package to find two slices of eggy toast, and small packs of peeled fruit. I held one out to Zak, a wordless question.

“Thanks…” he reached out, his eyes meeting mine, then skittering off, shy…..embarrassed….I didn’t know what to think. I took a bite of the eggy toast, relishing the comfort food.

“Quite a night last night…” he said between bites, “I was sure that floor was safe, I can’t understand what happened….it could have been a disaster…”

Soon the food was finished; Zak was wiping his fingers on the paper napkin, as I collected the wrappers. As I reached near him, he caught my wrist, his long elegant fingers meeting easily around my bones. He didn’t let go, just pulled me gently to sit on his lap.

“Marianne…...whats’ going on? I don’t know where I am with you…..one minute you are freezing me out, then you are as hot as ...as…..well last night you almost made me cum in my pants….” He was trying to be serious, but his eyes were wide and sparkling, a cheeky teenager looking back at me.

“Stop it…..we were caught up in the drama of the moment….it’s not everyday you are trapped in a haunted house by a collapsed floor…...well, not for me it’s not…..” The heat radiating up from his body permeated my bones with a desire to get closer; to feel all of his heat….without realising what he was up to, I felt my head sinking back into his broad shoulder, pushed by his insistent nibbles at my neck. I squirmed, his lips trailing kisses down over my throat.

It hit me, like a runaway train; I was not going to play games, not mess around being coy. I wanted him, plain and simple. I pushed back on his shoulders, his eyes smoldered into mine when he lifted his head. 

“Lets get comfy…….” I got to my feet, taking him by the hand, leading him over to the bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress, waiting to see what I wanted him to do, his face soft in the lamplight. 

“Are you sure…..?” His voice was husky, making me even more sure.

“I’m sure.” I coaxed him to lie back on the bed, crawled up next to him, and fired up some serious kissing. There was something about his strength, combined with the unconscious shyness, that appealed to the fierce and dominant part of my nature. I’d been hiding it from myself, for a long time now, but the beast in me had been let loose, and I couldn’t wait much longer.  
My robe had fallen way open, his insistent kisses over my chest and neck flushing my skin, heating me up to fever pitch, when I whispered in his ear.

“Hey…..wanna get naked?”

The moment of truth, at last, and I was so excited I was trembling. He giggled, nervously, then pushed himself upright, slipping his shirt and T shirt off in an easy fluid motion; the hard musculature revealed, all smooth pale skin complemented by deep blue ink. My heart rate increased, as he swung his legs off the bed, his broad back towards me, as he took something from his pocket and removed the rest of his clothes. He was still sitting with his back to me as he unclasped his watch, slowly placing it on the bedside table.

I got onto my knees, slipping my bare skin against his broad back, my mouth over the nape of his neck, seeing blurry wingtips as I covered his neck with kisses. He was making funny little purr-like noises, and rolling his head. I realised I must have been tickling him, which made me giggle slightly. He turned, and our arms twined around again, as my body caressed his naked skin, the bulky muscle making me feel small and insubstantial. His hands worked over my shoulders, my ribs, and eventually he was gently kneading the cheeks of my arse, pulling me closer in against the hard spike of him nestled into my belly. I wanted that in my hand….I wanted to feel the soft skin and the hardness of him...relishing the fact that this was Zak, and everything would be alright.

I looked into his eyes as my hand moved, fingers bending against the velvet smooth skin, stroking from root to tip. His breathing quickened, the blue eyes unfocused, his lips parted and kissed pink. I probably had never seen such a desirable man; my hand turned, allowing my palm to cover him, stroking the silky skin gently but firmly.

He sighed breathily into my hair, quiet mutters of appreciation as my hand explored his body. Soon we were both short of breath, my insides felt like a liquid inferno, tense and ready for him. He stopped, propping himself up and reaching back to the bedside table. I took his hand, pulling it over my heart. “If that’s what I think it is, you don’t need it…..I’m a virgin….and I’d rather my first time be skin to skin…..please….”

His breath caught in his throat, as he tilted my chin to look directly into my eyes, then kissing me softly, with so much tenderness I could feel it travelling like an enchantment through my whole body. 

“Oh...I don’t want to hurt you…” his whisper was hoarse.

“If you stop now, you’ll damage me for all eternity…..” I smiled, even my lips shaking.

He moved with the grace of a panther, rolling me under him, fitting himself snugly in the cradle of my hips. I couldn’t help my whispered words of encouragement, as he went slowly, the beautiful feeling of connection and fullness wiping out the sudden sting as my virginity was finally and irrevocably lost.

Then the fireworks started. My legs wrapped around his hips, and we moved together as if designed to be so, as a five storey fire took hold. I saw stars as I came, gasping out his name and a string of nonsense mixed with curses. But the best, the very best, was as I watched him unravel, his control disintegrating, as trembling and slippery, he came, sinking into my arms, his body shaking with the force of his heartbeat, whispering my name, over and over, like a charm.


	18. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming down from the high

The mansion looked much the same in the daylight, despite the top floor, collapsed down, pulling the lower floors away from the walls with the force of the fall. Aaron and Billy were mooching around the outside, prodding here and there, but not allowed admittance, as the fire service had taped it all off. The owners had been contacted and were expected shortly. Zak looked a little worried, but as everything was under control, we could still maintain our own little private bubble of happiness; sitting close in the crew bus, smiling, even holding hands when we thought no-one was watching.

I was so happy, I couldn’t have cared less if the building had disappeared completely. The crew thought the films we had were good enough for an episode, and I certainly didn’t intend to put on another dead woman’s clothes anytime soon. It seemed as if the only thing to do was to pack up and go home. I allowed myself to drift, my eyes automatically following the tall dark man with the spiky hair. I’d never been in love before, and, looking back, I guess that was the moment I realised it had finally happened. All the years seemed like a dream, and Zak was the only reality.  
So I waited in the van, a feeling of lethargy making me sleepy, dozing and dreaming away the next hour quite happily.

Finally coming round to the sound of my stomach grumbling I looked out of the window at Zak, who seemed to be checking his phone a lot; I guessed it was texts about the insurance cover. But, as the morning became afternoon, he seemed to be getting more edgy. I knew him well enough by now to notice that when the smile was absent, he was usually irritated about something. Eventually, he clambered back into the van, Aaron and Billy following, Jay sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“Let’s go eat.” Was all Zak said, and following in the way that the subdued mood seemed to hang over all of them, I just sat so I was close enough to brush arms with Zak, and kept quiet.

 

The food came quickly, and we all ate ravenously, but the usual playful atmosphere was conspicuously absent. Zak was pushing his thigh close up to mine, but other than that, he seemed distant and preoccupied. As soon as the meal was over, I excused myself, and went outside for a walk in the fresh air. Physically I was feeling fine, any soreness from the morning had disappeared with a hot bath, and a few hours rest. Mentally, I was on edge, hoping that whatever the guys were festering on, they would talk it out whilst I made the most of lovely Autumn afternoon. I walked for almost an hour in the park, still high on the loved up feeling, sure that whatever was troubling the crew, they would sort it out.


	19. Finished before it begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something bad happening with Zak

Darkness was not so far away, as I pushed open the door, back into the hotel restaurant. No sign of Zak or any one else for that matter, I walked up to my room, thinking of a nice nap, when the phone pinged.

It was Zak, wanting to see me. I texted back for him to meet me in my room, and pulled off my boots, trying to push my hair into a ponytail to hide the tangles. The knock on the door had my heart jumping into my mouth, as I let him in. He hugged me, cradling my face into his shoulder like he never wanted to let me go. I stood, relishing the feeling of his solid muscle close, so close, to me.

Eventually I had to take a step back, smiling as I finally looked him in the eyes. But it wasn’t the smiley face I expected; he looked gaunt and drawn, the scruff of moustache and chin dark against his pale face, and his brows drawn together in a frown that looked like it had been there forever.

“Zak…..what’s wrong…..let me help….tell me…..what?”

Eventually, his coat on the bed, and a cup of tea in hand, he opened up.

“I have to go back, straight away……..someone…..err...someone is suing my ass……”

“As in ‘taking you to court’ suing?”

“Yeah….stabbing me in the back big style….."

“Why...what’s the problem….?”

“It’s about patent rights, ownership of royalties….the sort of stuff dreamed up by a clever lawyer to please a vindictive mind.”

“Oh….will they have a case do you think?” He pursed his lips and blew out his cheeks, shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t know Marianne...but I do know it could do me an awful lot of damage…”

“What happened to ‘any publicity is good publicity?’ I asked, naively.

“Not like this. It’s a game-changer.” He stared into my eyes, and I caught a glimpse of the determination that had brought him out of obscurity to become a highly paid and well known figure.

“Marianne, I want...I need to keep you out of all this, it so sucks, just when we get together after all this time, but, for your sake as well as mine, I think it best to avoid each other for a while.”

My heart sunk, and I stared back at him like he had spoken in Chinese.

I felt like I wanted to cry, but the look on Zak’s face told me that if I gave in to my emotions, he would crumble also. We sat, each lost in our own worlds, until I leaned forward and took his hand, pulling him towards me.

“I don’t know how long you’ll be gone, or if I will see you again at all….but, maybe….." I stuttered, words failing me.

He didn’t resist when I led him to the bed. Neither of us spoke, gently building a spell of desire and feeling so strong so as to keep away the pain of Zak’s words. Sadness intensified the physical expression of how we felt, the long slow burn building to consume so fully that I couldn’t hold on; a soul searing pleasure we both experienced turning to uncontrollable emotion. 

Zak was biting his lips, clearly trying to hold back his own tears, as I sobbed against him. He held me, quietly folding me in his arms, stroking my hair, and talking softly, small mutterings of comfort, lulling me into a doze.

When I awoke, he was gone.


	20. Things better left unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction

Zak had done what he said he would do, and I had not seen him, or had any communication from him. Trying really hard to stay focussed on my next programme, I threw myself into the research, swam until my skin turned pruney, and did my best to make covert enquiries to see if I could find out what was happening. I couldn’t work it out. I even told Kelsi, who with all her contacts couldn’t find a clue about whatever trouble Zak was in. I was in limbo, time passing so slowly it felt like I was living in glue. But I had to carry on. If he never contacted me again, I needed to keep myself together. 

A week later I was sitting on the small walkway running above the wide atrium of the LA Hilton, finding a quiet place to write. I needed to lurk somewhere away from my usual places, and the impersonality of the hotel seemed like a good place to perch. The bench seat looked out through the glass, giving a view of the gardens and the car park beyond. An opening between the glass and the floor allowed a small viewpoint over the area below, a nook hidden away from the bustle of the main entrance. It was quiet here, a trick of the acoustics, and I tapped away, trying to frame questions for my next project.

I looked away from the screen, down to the spot below, where I could see a tall man, hair gelled solid, leaning against the table. He seemed nervous, fiddling with his phone, as he looked around. Suddenly, without any warning, I saw the unmistakable tall frame and spiky hair of Zak, walking towards the waiting man. My heart leaped in my throat, as I slipped the laptop onto the seat, crouching down against the glass partition, to stare, fascinated by the tableau ten feet below me.

“Oh...you made it then…” The other man spoke first, and I caught a glimpse of his profile, as he turned to Zak. I dimly recognised him.

“Yeah…..It’s been a long time Nick…..” Zak spoke quietly, his voice lacking in its usual vibrancy. “So, why are you doing this, I don’t understand…? We…” the dark haired man stopped in mid sentence, as the other’s hand reached behind his head, pulling him close, their foreheads almost touching.

“Zak, I trusted you, I would have given up everything…..but you wouldn’t wait…..you knew I had Ronni and the kids to think of….you put me in an impossible position….ask Aaron if you don’t believe me...he knew what I was going through….you just needed to make your move, man...that’s all…”

Zak pulled away, and I saw him turn his back, his hands clenched into fists by his side.

“Make my move…..what about your move…..Christ...you said you loved me….but every night you went home to her….everytime...I fucking needed you, and you just weren’t there. How was I supposed to trust you, G, when you did that?!” I could hear the emotion raw in Zak’s voice.

Zak turned back to face Nick, and I could see the top of their heads, both of them staring intently into each others eyes. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing, but I held myself still, waiting to see how the drama unfolding below would play out.

“Remember Poveglia? Remember how I almost carried you out of there….how I stayed by you, day and night, day and night Zak? Remember….you were never out of my sight…..” Nick was almost sobbing, grasping at the arms of the taller man. “I was there for you….don’t you forget it….”

Zak stepped back, I couldn’t see his face, but heard the sorrow in his voice.

“That was then, Nick…..But now….now it’s over...it’s been over a long time...I moved on…..I’m sorry you’ve been hurt but….”

“Oh, you’ve moved on….some other poor sucker falling for your moods and stupid jokes...and that stupid, stupid hair….well I guess I’m over you too….” His voice broke off on a sob.

“Don’t let’s part like this, God... Nick, this is not right...not for either of us….do you want it to tear us up for the rest of our lives?”

The silence between them stretched like a barbed wire fence, and I waited, tears silently rolling down my face.

“No…..” I saw Nick’s arm come up and swipe across his face. “No, I don’t…..I went over the top, I just wanted you to know how hurt I was…. I know, it was stupid….I’ll call off the dogs…”  
“That’s not why I agreed to meet you, and you know it…” Zak’s voice, a hoarse angry whisper.

“No, I know dude, but I wanted to see you. Like you said, it’s not how we should end it.” Nick’s voice, sad and broken sounding.

They shared a long look, and I was glad I couldn’t see their faces.

Eventually, they moved together, and hugged, Nick’s hand tenderly curling around the back of Zak’s neck.

“I miss you, bro...sorry for what I said about the hair, I didn’t mean it….”

“I know….” Zak’s voice low and sweet, like a knife in my heart, …”I miss you too...take care little brother……”

One second later Zak turned on his heel, and walked quickly away, I could hear the fading sound of his boots squeaking on the polished floor. Nick stood, looking aimlessly around him as if lost. After a few minutes, he checked his phone, and walked away in the opposite direction.

I pushed myself back into the seat, tears falling silently over my hands. I was totally, utterly confused, scrunched up in the quiet corner, trying to get my feelings under control. By the time I walked out to my car it was almost dark. My phone was turned off, and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Even Zak. I really didn’t know how I felt.


	21. Finale (sort of..)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the end...or just the beginning?

It was very late when I got home. I was tired and drained, and still no clearer to understanding why the touching little scene between Zak and his ex boyfriend had upset me so much. I knew it wasn’t because it was a boyfriend, Zak could have been going out with a kangaroo, no, it was nothing to do with that.

Strangely enough, I felt pain for Zak, somewhere along the line he had evidently cared deeply for Nick, so much so that Nick was almost willing to leave his wife and children. Almost but not quite. But despite it being a farewell between them, I was, and here it came, I was racked with jealousy. Maybe Zak did prefer men; just because I’d enjoyed his lovemaking so much meant nothing...I had nothing to compare him to. I’d just become a sad pathetic little girl who fell for his looks and charm. And the roses. I couldn’t forget the roses.

As I entered my kitchen, I was angry. I didn’t have any reason other than that Zak had shown that he had the most tender feelings for Nick. I realised that if Zak were standing in front of me now I’d want to beat my fists against his chest, over his arms, pummel him until my bones cried out to stop hurting us both. Let him know that the pain in me was real. That I didn’t want him having touching little reunions with his ex-lover, that I wanted him all to myself…...there….finally...admitting it...I was in love with him.

I took the vase of roses, now wilting and dry, and hurled them with the force of a mad woman up against the wall, the heavy antique glass shattering into a million deadly shards.  
“Fuck you, Zak…..fuck you, fuck you, fuck you….”

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

 

Needless to say I slept badly, the door chime bringing me out of a sound sleep with a jolt. It was nine am. My hair was tangled, and I still had yesterday’s mascara smudged around my eyes. I really didn’t want to see anyone. Especially the person standing at the door, black hoodie low over his face, and dark glasses hiding his eyes. I was half asleep still, as I opened up, standing well back to let his long frame slide past me.

He turned, hesitant, his arms opening, expectantly.

I ignored his gesture.

“Where have you been Zak, I thought you’d disappeared. Not a word….not a call…..what’s been going on…?”

I walked into the kitchen and sploshed water carelessly into the kettle, then turned to face him. He had taken off the sunglasses, and I could see his eyelids were swollen, blue shadows beneath making him look gaunt.

“Marianne...I’ve just had the worst week of my life…..I’m so sorry I didn’t call you...but I didn’t think I could handle trying to explain...on top of everything else…..it’s been really tough…..”  
He slumped against the fridge, his front teeth distractedly gnawing on the bristles under his bottom lip.

I took the mugs down and gestured for him to pass me the milk, which he did, silently. I wanted a shower and to make myself look presentable, not appear in front of him like a dirty rag doll.  
“OK…..” I poured the tea, using both hands on the handle, “let’s talk about it….”

We sat at the small kitchen table, his coat hanging untidily from the chair back. I sipped my steaming tea, oblivious to the scalding temperature. Eventually he broke the silence.  
“Do you remember, ages ago...when you were watching an episode of the show….you saw someone and said, “Who’s that?” Do you remember…?”

“Yeah…..think so……”

“Well, Nick was my best friend…..”

‘Oh God….he’s going to lie to me’, I thought.

“Well, it turned into more than friendship….we...err...I...well, we started seeing each other…..”

“Seeing each other? As in ‘dating’ seeing each other…?” His face was downcast, but I could still make out the two spots of colour high on his cheeks.

“Yeah...dating...lovers...the whole thing...I’d never been with a man….neither had he, I think...he’s married for fuck’s sake…..but, we just clicked…..I never felt like that before…..it just…….”

“Just happened…….” I added, quietly.

“Yeah….I fell crazy in love….the first time it had happened to me…..thought I was immune…..but then...when it got serious...I wanted...well we both wanted ..more”

“So, what happened?” I had put down my cup, and was sitting stock still, like you would do so as not to scare away a bird.

“It went wrong...he couldn’t leave his wife….she got pregnant again….then we split up….we had a very bitter row, about the rights to the programme. Aaron and Billy were there...it was so embarrassing….I tried to keep it together, but just ended up yelling at Nick that he wouldn’t get a penny out of me….and then it came out that he had been making another programme behind my back….it was such a fucking mess……” He chugged back the dregs of his tea, and I poured another, waiting.

After a while, he looked me in the eye, an accumulation of pain and bitterness turning the soft blues to steely gray.

“This happened a while before I met you, and honestly…...honestly Marianne...you’ve been so good for me...you have no idea…….” 

I suddenly felt cold.

“Why are you telling me this, Zak, why now? I thought we had something….something between us...I would never have slept with you if I thought, for one minute, you were in love with someone else…” My eyes were watering, and I rubbed my already smeared face.

He gave me such a sad look, and held out his hand, palm up; I could see the weird blue tattoo on his inner wrist, like a dagger over his artery. Hesitant, I took his hand, and his fingers curled around mine.

“Nick came back, he was threatening to take me to court, and make some really bad publicity. I didn’t know what he would say….how much he would stir things up…..but...I met with him, and...well...we sorted things out.” His voice was almost a whisper.

“You sorted things out…...what does that mean? Ditching me...and taking him back?”

Even though I’d been there, heard it with my own ears, I had worked myself up into such a raging jealous mess, I almost believed myself.

“No….it’s not like that at all…..anything we had together was finished a long time ago……” He leaned forward, holding my arms, desperate to cling on to me.

“I wanted...well if things got bad, I wanted to keep you out of it….you don’t deserve to be caught up in my mess….and no...I don’t want to finish...we’ve only just started….”

He stood, abruptly, stepping out from his seat and pulling me against his chest. Tea slopped across the table, ignored.

“Marianne, sweetheart...I want us, you and me, to go on….to find out if we have a chance together….I care about you...please…..”

His eyes were deep blue, unfathomable, bright against the paleness of his face. He was waiting for my reply. But I chickened out.

“Zak….” I hugged him, and felt the broad chest let out the breath he had been holding on to. “I….I need a shower….and to get dressed…...I didn’t expect this……just give me a few minutes will you?” I smiled into his neck. “Don’t go away….” I whispered.

I stood under the shower, not knowing if I wanted to laugh or cry. I knew he was telling the truth, I’d been there, seen it, like some kind of aerial peeping Tom. I couldn’t tell him….it seemed so underhanded, listening to his final conversation with Nick, their heartrending parting, I blushed to think of it. No, that should remain my little secret, it was totally coincidental, anyway, so why tell him?

Towelling my hair, shoving it into the hoodie, and pulling my jeans on to my still damp legs, I hurried to face Zak, to try to discover if and how he was expecting our relationship to progress.  
He had gone into the living room; I could hear the sounds of glass rattling against the dustpan, jolting the memory of the shattered vase into my mind.

“Zak, hunn...you don’t need to do that...it’s my mess……….”

“What happened?” his body straightened, as he stood and turned towards me. The mark on the wall from the impact with the vase was clear. I breathed deep.

“I was upset, I hadn’t heard from you in a week. And as you know, I’m not such an expert in intimate relationships that I could understand what was happening…..I got upset…...I threw it at the wall…..” My voice quavered, pathetically, but he quickly laid down the dustpan, and before I’d chance to take a snivelling breath, his arms were wrapped around me again.

“Oh...Marianne….I’m sorry...I really am….I just needed to get the whole court case / Nick thing off my back….I just couldn’t see past it…..but I didn’t mean to hurt you……”

“OK…..OK...I’ve been an idiot….it was just so soon after we …..we….er……”

“Made love? That’s what we did, Marianne, and it was beautiful….”

The intensity of his stare was almost scary, I needed to hide from it, burying my head in the wide plain of his shoulder.

“So, what happens now Zak? What do you think we should do?”

He pushed the hood down past my ear, and I felt his warm breath tickle, making goosebumps pop on my neck.

“I think lady, we should buy you a new vase………”


End file.
